Let’s Talk About Sex

I have struggled for years about my relationship and beliefs when it comes to sex. I was raised to believe that sex is reserved for marriage, or at least between two people who truly love each other. I placed so much value on my virginity, to the point I tied it to my self-worth and esteem. As an adult, I’m slowly learning it doesn’t matter! I’m way more than my sexual encounters! I remember in a book I read, it said women were created to be desired; that line has always stuck with me, but I still can’t figure what it means to me. 

I just know as a young Muslim woman, I’m going through my own sexual revolution. I’ve spent so much time concerned about waiting until marriage, or not letting my number get too high. Appearing to be innocent, or a good girl worthy for marriage, when at the end of the day none of that matters! The conversation needs to be about consent, safe sex, respect, and mutual satisfaction! 

I personally believe when it comes to sex, do what makes you happy! This is a personal decision only you can make, and too many people get the decision stolen from them! The scars of not being able to make that decision last a lifetime. 


  1. Coming from a religious background Baptist and Catholic fam with Catholic education– I find that the ideas around sex are antiquated and help with repression of sexual desires. Our bodies were created to enjoy our physical lives as much as our spiritual lives too. I grew out of the wait til marriage thing in my late teens and it was so freeing haha. I totally agree with you in that sex is supposed to fun and safe. I think it’s a fantastic way to celebrate make of what makes us human without religious doctrine getting in the way of that.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Salam sis, i salute you for been so bold to actually write about it. I would advice you to wait till marriage before you do anything, not just to please the man or anyone but for you this is between you and Allah, remember not the man your marrying ;Its a big struggle you will be just fine.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sex is wonderful. There’s nothing wrong about it. The virginity-obsession is there to control women’s bodies. I don’t see men getting policed the same way.

    Liked by 1 person

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