Words From An Ex Hijabi

Dating as an Ex Hijabi is very interesting and sometimes frustrating. Well, in all honesty, dating, in general, is frustrating. I started to notice a pattern or a common theme with Muslim men.
With Muslim men, I was placed in two different categories. Honestly, by the end of the first conversation, it was easy to categorize.

The first category is the men who believe Muslim women have a choice regarding wearing the hijab, except for their wives. The conversation starts with, “Why don’t you wear Hijab” or “Have you ever worn a hijab .” I give my reasoning, and for the most part, they agree with me. The longer the conversation continues, it somehow circles back to me, covering my hair or modesty. They may slip into the conversation about how they imagine their future wife in hijab or how their mothers expect their future daughter-in-law to cover. Needless to say, that will never be me, especially not for some men.

The second category is the hijabi bashers. They never ask my opinion about covering but assume that I hate the hijab and hijabis, one of my pet peeves. I have tremendous respect and love for hijabis, mainly because I know how hard and dedication it takes to wear the hijab, especially in a non-Muslim country. Hijabis get enough negativity from ignorant people. They don’t need it from Muslim men, who shouldn’t have an opinion about a woman covering. Still, regardless you should keep your negative thoughts to yourself.

You know what I find funny? The sub-category of hijabi bashers that end up marrying a hijabi. I find that they want to date or play around with a non-muslim or someone they perceive not to be religious, but when they’re ready to settle down, they find a nice hijabi.
Of course, not every Muslim man fits into those two categories, but the majority I have encountered do.


  1. It’s very much the same here in South asia. There will be men who appreciate the hijab, but most are attracted to non-hijabis. However, they don’t marry the glamorous snobs they used to drool over because they want a pious wife. Double standards are everywhere, I guess.

    Liked by 2 people

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