I was recently catching up with a friend and he asked me if I was concerned about finding a husband because of my lack of modesty. It’s crazy he asked that question because I used to spend a lot of time concerned about my image and self-consciousness that I’ll have a bad or wild reputation. But for the last few years, I’ve stopped caring.
In Islamic standards, yes I do lack modesty and a wild child, but I don’t care. I know I have a lot to offer the world, regardless of what I do in my free time or wear on my body. I don’t care who doesn’t deem me as an appropriate Muslim wife, because I promise you, I have no desire to be their wife. I’m still a proud Muslimah and aware of what I am doing is haram, but the only opinion I’m concerned with is Allah(SWT). I’ll deal with the consequences for my actions when that day comes, but while I’m interacting with you mere humans, I’m going to continue being the Misunderstood Afro Muslimah.
I have zero intentions to change my lifestyle to find a husband, I’d rather find a man who accepts me, and helps balance me, halal or not. I’m young, still growing and maturing, I want to find a partner to be on the ride with me and down to have some fun. So, the answer to his question is no, I’m not concerned or even care about finding a husband. Yes, I’d love to be married one day, but don’t plan on changing myself for a ring. Right now I need to focus on fully falling in love with myself, before concerning myself with someone else.