Dating is an exhausting game and feels like a bunch of trial and error. A couple of years ago, I decided to open my dating pool to Non-Muslims. I typically date someone who knows a lot about Islam. So, there really was not a big difference.
Now dating someone who knows little to nothing is an adjustment for me. I’m the type of a person if you don’t ask or show some interest, I’m not going to tell you. Unfortunately, resulting in me code-switching in my own relationship; because I am barely teaching him anything about Islam. We live in a Judeo- Christian country; by default, I know a great deal about Christianity.
I unconsciously give a diluted version of myself; that I typically do around my non-muslim friends. I rarely say Arabic phrases and never give Islamic greetings. The only thing I don’t water down is my belief that pigs are disgusting animals that shouldn’t be eaten, and dogs don’t belong in the home. It wasn’t until this Eid Al Fitr that it really hit me that this man doesn’t know much about Islam. I was a little in my feelings that I had to tell him to wish me an Eid Mubarak. Code-switching isn’t an issue to me; the problem is I am seriously starting to think about my future and the family I want to produce.
I’m aware dating and especially marrying a Non-Muslim is haram; my father is very vocal about how he wants a Muslim son-in-law. For the most part, I double talk my way into him being somewhat open-minded. As much as I hate to admit it, my dad is right about one thing, everything is going to be cool and fun up until there are children involved.
I am a very stubborn woman, and I say this statement with great confidence. I will be having Muslim babies, and they will all have beautiful Muslim names, inshAllah, that is non-negotiable for me. I truly believe Islam gives a wonderful foundation and guidelines to be a great person, practicing or not. I know in Islam, the man dictates the religion of the babies, but since I am carrying and pushing those big-headed kids out of me, I say it’s my call. Now, if he can follow that program, I see no problems for our future.