I Tried the Swirl

A sweet white guy who converted to Islam but was raised Jewish asked me on a date. Honestly, my first instinct was politely decline, but instead, I said yes. I firmly believe in dating outside your type; I decided to give the swirl a chance.

We went out to dinner, and I could tell he was nervous, but I was completely calm. My curiosity about his back story outweighed any nerves. I came ready with questions. The first one was pretty obvious; I wanted to know his conversion story and Muslim experience. He gave a pretty standard answer; he fell in love with Islam and felt embraced by the community. It was a well-rehearsed answer. Of course, asked how his family felt about his conversion. He hesitated. That told me all I needed to know. He eventually elaborated with his family’s support. Although they have the expectation he will raise his children Jewish. I could relate to that family expectation; my father is a broken record of saying he wants his grandkids to be Muslim. At this point, the date was going smoothly but felt very formal.

I tried to lighten the mood with corny jokes, but the conversation never just flowed. It was more like an interview rather than a date. I asked the ole boy about his study course and future goals. He was in grad school studying Anthropology. In truth, I didn’t know much about the subject other than it’s debated as a racist field, and anthropology was a theme of a movie I enjoyed. As soon as I said the word racist, his guards went up and became super defensive! He started accusing me of calling him racist and how that was further from the truth. I really wanted to say calm down, I am not calling you racist, but instead, I just watched him throw a temper tantrum. The date occurred before white people discovered racism still exists and learned about White Fragility. Hopefully, now he’s less aggressive with his response to a fair question. I never accused him of being racist. I just wanted to know his opinion.

The date never recovered and ended pretty soon after that. We politely hugged at the end of the date and went our separate ways. We have never talked again; I have not been on another date with a white guy since.

I am still open to the swirl; at the end of the day, I just want to find my perfect match.


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