I Tried the Swirl

I am a firm believer in dating outside of your type; I decided to give the swirl a chance. A sweet white guy who converted to Islam but was raised Jewish asked me on a date. Honestly, my first instinct was to politely decline, but instead, I said yes.

We went out to dinner, and I could tell he was nervous, but I was completely calm. My curiosity about his back story outweighed any nerves. I came ready with questions. The first one was pretty obvious; I wanted to know his conversion story and his experience of being Muslim. He gave a pretty standard answer; he fell in love with Islam and felt embraced by the community. It felt like a pretty well-rehearsed answer. Of course, asked how his family felt about his conversion. He hesitated that pretty much told me all I needed to know. He eventually elaborated with his family’s support. Although they have the expectation he will raise his children Jewish. I could relate to that family expectation; my father is a broken record by saying he wants his grandkids to be Muslim. At this point, the date was going smoothly but felt very formal.

I tried to lighten the mood with corny jokes, but the conversation never just flowed. It was more like an interview rather than a date. I asked him about his course of study and his future goals. He was in grad school studying Anthropology. In truth, I didn’t know much about the subject other than it’s debated to be a racist field, and anthropology was a theme of a movie I really enjoyed. As soon as I said the word racist, his guards went all the way up and became super defensive! He started accusing me of calling him racist and how that was further from the truth. I really wanted to say calm down, I am not calling you racist, but instead, I just watched him throw a temper tantrum. The date occurred before, white people discovered racism still exists and learned about White Fragility. Hopefully, now he’s less aggressive with his response to a fair question. I never accused him of being racist, just wanted to know his opinion.

Needless to say, the date never recovered and ended pretty soon after that. We politely hugged at the end of the date and went separate ways. We have never talked again; I have not been on another date with a white guy since.

I am still open to the swirl; at the end of the day I just want find my perfect match.


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