Coping with PCOS and Hospitalization: A Personal Transformation Story

As a child, my mother prepared me for if she was unexpectedly hospitalized and how to keep up with her skincare routine. My mother and I both have PCOS and are very particular about our faces. I did not think to do the same, and I didn’t give her detailed instructions on how to take care of my face. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to be hospitalized; I thought I had youth and time on my side, so the plan was to tell my future daughter. 

This past February, my life turned upside down. I found myself hospitalized for an extended stay, and I was utterly unprepared. For the first time since I can remember, I didn’t care about my appearance or skincare routine. I was in an extreme amount of pain, and my focus was truly on finding relief. As a result, for a couple of days, I forgot I had PCOS and facial hair. 

Eventually, reality set in, and I realized I was way overdue for a proper wash and facial hair removal. I just didn’t care. Usually, I’m beyond self-conscious if there’s a little stubble, especially without makeup, but I had more significant issues than my superficial beauty picks; I was just trying to make sure I made it out of the hospital and with all of my limbs. I was presenting myself to the world and my family as a raw version of myself, and ultimately, it was freeing. The experience forced me to release control; while releasing control, I removed a mask I didn’t realize I was still wearing. 

Now that I’m home, I haven’t returned to my well-structured routine. Lack of mobility made me lose a lot of fucks about things that used to stress me out. My face and facial hair are still at the bottom of my priority list, and I don’t miss the stress of constantly trying to look feminine. I realize I am feminine regardless of how I present myself. I do not know how I will be at the end of this healing journey. However, this is undoubtedly a life-changing experience, and I am learning to love the new me properly.