What Modesty Means to Me: The Voice of a Misunderstood Afro Muslimah

“You earn your confidence by doing the work.”

– Ursula Burns.

This year, I intentionally listened to the women who came before me and followed the blueprint. For years, the mindset was to be better than the day before, regardless of how small the percentage was. Consistency builds discipline quickly; I never imagined how much it would boost my confidence. 

I was recently featured on a podcast, The Hearts Connect, where I shared a peek into my journey as a Black American Muslimah. While watching, I realized those were my identities, and that the journey was about developing confidence in my voice. I am misunderstood by most, but I see myself clearly and know people may not agree with my perspective, but I have earned the respect to share my mindset boldly.

During the interview, she asked, “What’s one of the most misunderstood things about me?” After reflecting on my journey, the identity shift from a hijabi to a non-covering Muslimah was not small, but I minimized it while living it. I have been unconsciously defining what modesty looks like for me. 

I have made peace with my past, the unfortunate events, and through trauma, I learned quickly how outer appearance can be weaponized. A common theme I feel often is being overly sexualized, especially while I was on my quest for self-discovery. 

As a child, I was taught that the hijab was for my protection and that men are supposed to lower their gaze.  Unfortunately, many men do not live up to that command. While wearing hijab, I drew a lot of attention, and I  found people liked to see me uncomfortable for sport. The sentiment remained true even without the hijab. 

This post was intended to be about my new self-declaration of modesty, but there’s nothing new to share. What you see is what you get; my confidence didn’t blossom based on my outer appearance. It naturally formed as I owned my essence, which is an outspoken Muslimah. I pride myself on being generous and grounded, and I think my biggest flex now, regardless of my attire, is that no one is ever surprised I am Muslim, based on how I conduct myself. 

I plan to continue following the blueprint, trusting my voice, and witnessing my confidence flourish.