I Was Never Misunderstood: Growth, Self-Trust, and Building The Misunderstood Afro Muslimah

“If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.” 

― Zora Neale Hurston

I’m done explaining myself and asking for permission. As I’ve reread my blog, I must admit my own shenanigans amuse me in my early twenties, and I can see the pain and feel the growth in my words and in reality. 

I’m an introspective woman who spent a while feeling lost in my depths. I have many layers that, at first glance, aren’t cohesive and feel chaotic. It took years of healing, experiences, and vulnerability to create an unbreakable system of self-trust. 

My blog and I grew together; in my earlier blogging years, I spent time explaining my mindset and trying to be digestible. That was a contradiction creating chaos.

The contradiction also mirrored my reality: while I was in the quest for expansion, I was constantly shrinking myself so my growth wouldn’t threaten the people in my personal life. As Zora Neale Hurston said, people often misunderstand silence and take liberties with it; that’s rarely positive. 

I embraced speaking up and standing on my words and narrative. I placed my comfort and message over anyone’s opinions and feelings, if I’m not digestible, choke.  While prioritizing myself, I often reflect on the origin of The Misunderstood Afro Muslimah, a blog that blossomed into a platform and brought me clarity. 

My blog has always been a reflection of my life, and I don’t fit neatly in any boxes, and my platform doesn’t either. My words have grown into an ecosystem of their own, with a global reach and community. Younger me would never imagine how many places and doors my words would open and inspire. 

I have always desired to be part of something larger than myself, but little did I expect to take a step back and realize I have been slowly building toward my one consistent goal. Earlier this year, I had a strong desire to encourage more people to obtain passports, not necessarily to travel, but to be prepared for a changing world and for documentation that is increasingly protected. 

I took that feeling and created the Freedom of Movement Initiative: The Spring Reset. It encourages you to check your passport status and make sure you’re ready. I never appreciated the full-circle moment until I reflected and reread my words. I created a blog from a place of emotion, which led to greater confidence and autonomy in my voice, opinions, and perspectives. Not only did I create a blog, but I also obtained my first passport, and above all, it was the feeling of freedom.

I never realized how limited I was until I had global access not only to study the world, but also to travel and experience the many universes and perspectives that create the human experience.

As I reflect and celebrate another year of The Misunderstood Afro Muslimah, my favorite part is always the amazing people and narratives I have been blessed to encounter. So many help fuel my words and inspire my strength, and I can’t wait to see what I create next, owning and trusting my feelings.