How I Chose Myself This Summer

It’s time to alert the masses that this little life of mine is becoming the life I’ve dreamed of. I must admit, every summer of my twenties was in one way or another about someone else, or healing the damage caused by someone, except for this one. This summer has been all about me and what I want to do. As a result, this has been my best summer to date. 

I initially planned to travel or have a grand experience, but I later realized that wouldn’t have been for me. I was still subconsciously people-pleasing and seeking validation for my life choices. I thought about how I wanted to spend my last summer of the twenties, so let me tell y’all what I did.

I created a summer of mini adventures, discovering new interests, and focusing on my blessings. This has been a summer of firsts, and I never allowed myself to stay in my comfort zone or let my anxiety stop me from experiencing anything.

I kicked my summer off by visiting my maternal grandparents’ gravesite, which healed a wound I didn’t know existed. There’s no kind way to put it, but the external family I grew up with sucks, lol, and that has never had anything to do with me or my worth. Once I reached that conclusion with my family, I applied the same logic to everyone. Initially uncomfortable, but ultimately freeing. I no longer feel in debt or need people to stay in my life; I only want those around me to see and appreciate my worth. I’m done explaining myself; I am living my life and enjoying the people who share a similar mindset and match my level of consideration. 

That’s when my summer began to soar. I marched in the World Pride Parade in DC with one of my best friends since high school. Fun fact: he was my first genuine friend, and I’m beyond grateful that our friendship continues to grow stronger. I’m looking for friendships and relationships that inspire and ignite a fire within me, and I’m thankful for the new connections I’ve made. I enjoy building those friendships and am excited to see how they bloom. It has been nice meeting women who equally pour into me, match my confidence, and are in a circle rooting for each other to win. 

Now, I am a big family girl. Let’s be real, I suffer from eldest daughter syndrome, and although I am taking care of myself first. I will never not be there for my family; they are lost without me. Plus, I enjoy all the great memories and adventures we’ve shared together, and this summer was a significant step towards building the next chapter of adventures, now that everyone is an adult. We took road trips up and down the East Coast! We went to amusement parks, beaches, mountains, a lake house, and many more random adventures that created memories for a lifetime. My brother and I consciously tried to record and capture family moments to share with our future.

But let’s get back to me, y’all! I am still shocked that I ran a marathon, but my foot isn’t 100% yet! Then danced my ass off at a rave afterwards, I fear I am unstoppable! I even went to my first concert, Lil Wayne, which was better than I could have imagined. I am committed to experiencing more marathons and concerts. I had the time of my life! Overall, this summer has been a love letter to my younger self, expressing how great our life is blossoming. I see myself through a lens of appreciation and admiration for all I’ve been through, and I find a way to smile and create the life that makes me happy. 

Everything is working out the way it’s supposed to. I plan to avoid sharp turns and stay consistent and focused on my goals and things in my control. My secret to finding peace and happiness amongst all the chaos is beginning and ending my day with gratitude.