Al Humduillah, I grew up and started speaking up for myself. As a child, I was sarcastic and passive-aggressive. As I talk to my younger brother about his middle school experience, I can’t help but sit back and reflect on my utterly different experience.
I don’t have too many fond memories of middle school. One memory sticking out is when I had a substitute teacher in music. It was an awkward adjustment period in my life. Wearing the hijab and a modest uniform did not help the situation either.
He was an older Black American man, really laid back, and most students loved him. He was leading a discussion about the music our parents play in the car. So everyone is participating and having fun, cracking jokes. I attempt to participate, but he cuts me off before I get a complete sentence. Informing me that I’m foreign and my people don’t listen to regular music.
I was too shy and quiet to speak up and say, “no, I’m black. I am just Muslim”. At that point, I remember feeling so embarrassed and not belonging anywhere. I desperately wanted to blend in and not always stick out as different. Now I realize how idiotic and toxic the statement indeed was.
Instead of embracing me and taking the opportunity to potentially learn about a new culture, he just shot me down because I didn’t appear “black enough .” The saddest part is he’s not the only person who’s made me feel that way. Even though I grew up in a black community, I still was made to feel like a minority amongst my own people.
The Misunderstood Afro Muslimah 
Belonging is overrated
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Thank you for sharing about being made to feel that you weren’t black enough. The teacher I believe was speaking from ignorance what he didn’t understand and to give a loud message to the others in the class that heard him that it was ok to make you feel “different”. I had a horrible middle school experience as well but praise God for not allowing those experience to define who I am today. Thank you for sharing I really enjoy reading it.
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I’m sorry to hear you had to experience this it must have been very difficult. I didn’t think about this before but I think because being black is so closely tied to Christianity, people who are from differing faiths (not so much atheists etc) aren’t necessarily viewed as black in the same way. I hope this is changing because your blackness is valid and should never have to be proved. 💜
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