I used to really love the show Malcolm in the Middle, mainly because I identified well with Malcolm, the main character. The middle knows it, child, always looking at situations like how I got here. I never felt like I belonged anywhere and felt like an outsider. I always stood out, even when I desperately wanted to blend in and go with the flow.
My middle school years were definitely a period that helped shape me into the woman I am today. I don’t have many positive memories of my experience and don’t think highly of most of my classmates. I started middle school optimistic and excited to finally be around my people. The school was majority Black American. During my years in an Islamic school, the students always needed to remind me that I was Black American.
So, to my surprise, my new classmates did not consider me Black American; instead, I was foreign. I realized I was the only hijabi in the school, and most of them knew very little to nothing about Islam. So, with a lack of knowledge comes ignorant jokes at my expense. Once again, I felt like an outsider and did not belong.
Now as an adult, I no longer have the desire to want to belong due to me realizing it is incredibly overrated. I have many cultural and religious values I was raised to believe in, and I now question and form my own values. Through my experiences, I’ve learned that we often segregate ourselves and cancel experiences based on our differences. So, I’m trying to live my life with an open mind, but I am still guilty of self-segregation based on differences.
The Misunderstood Afro-Muslimah 
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