Time, Priorities, Choices — The Blueprint of My 20s

It’s funny: entering my twenties, I thought I had life figured out, but I was also confused. Each year, I learned something new, and this is my conclusion: life boils down to time, priorities, and choices, and only I can dictate those things in my life. The way my mindset has shifted for those is my purest form of growth. Let me break this down.

Time is the one resource we will never get back in this world, and I take it personally when someone wastes my time. If you read my blog, you’ll see I’ve repeatedly mentioned that I was a people pleaser who learned to set boundaries. At first uncomfortable, but now I fully embrace all of my boundaries and ignore when people try to insinuate that I’m the villain, well, too bad, welcome to my dark side. I have learned the hard way that people will take advantage of you and waste your time if you let them. There’s no exception to that rule; it was up to me to respect my time and embrace the word no. That’s where priorities come into play. 

My priorities are mine alone. I love that fact, and it allows me to have reasonable expectations of people and keep my mind focused on what matters. I prioritize my overall well-being, my health, fitness, and peace. I’ve become an early bird and no longer like hanging out at night; I’d rather go work out first thing or go on an adventure. After the age of thirty, I’m no longer partaking in haram juice, as my father likes to say, because it interferes with my priorities. I love the beauty of duality because the same applies to others; their priorities are theirs alone, and I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to show up for people. I am a mirror of the energy I receive, but I’m done playing my role. The priorities I accept shape the choices I make, which in turn lead me to the last part of this formula: choices.

Right or Wrong, I have to live with the choices I make. For years, I disrespected my time and priorities, which led me to make choices that benefited others. Alhamdulillah, that terrible pattern died in the hospital, where very few people genuinely showed up for me. I have been replaying the choices I made throughout my twenties, and I have a few regrets because I always gave myself the gift of time. I took pauses, went slow, gave myself time to heal and answer the question, “What do I want?” Which led me to learn my priorities, and how others feel entitled to my time. I’m quickly approaching 30, still live at home with my parents, and am not under the same time and financial constraints as most of my peers. Because I chose to stay put and heal my childhood wounds. That choice comes with pros and cons, because I also have eldest daughter syndrome, so a top priority was ensuring my brother had the foundation to thrive in life. I’m done feeling on trial for those decisions; maybe it was an inner dilemma I was battling due to societal pressures, or energy doesn’t lie. People around me judged or pitied me. I really don’t give AF anymore; it was actually one of my smarter choices. I’m going to enter the next decade of my life with clarity and direction. And a lifetime of memories, that’s rooted in genuine joy, love, and peace with the 3 people who do their best to show up for me. My childhood memories come with a lot of baggage. Still, in my twenties, I had the honor of meeting my parents and brother as people, outside of our positions in the family, and of genuinely seeing each other. I will always treasure this time, and now I am ready to go. But it’s going to be the right move. I have learned to be intentional with my choices, but it’s me! I love to dive in fully and learn to swim later. 

Y’all, the truth is, I’ve always known what I wanted, and now I am finally confident enough to go after it, unapologetically. I know that my choices matter to the people around me, who genuinely love me, because at the end of the day, I know they just want me to win. It was scary to feel that kind of love, so I initially rejected it. But back to the confidence, I can stand in my truth while accepting their gentle pushes forward. There’s more than one way to get to the finish line, and I have no doubt I’ll get there. I’m destined for greatness. I am going after what I want, setting my priorities, honoring my time, and owning my choices, as I continue to navigate my way through life. 

Life isn’t getting easier; I’m getting stronger. My new motto for life is “win or learn, because I never lose.”