Setting Boundaries: Protecting My Peace with PCOS

Now that I am no longer at war with myself and feel at peace with my identities and conditions, it’s time to move past surviving and leap towards living. Life isn’t going to get easier, but I am getting stronger and have learned to put my needs above others’ comfort. 

The reality is that I have PCOS, and I have a higher propensity for anxiety and depression. I have to be hyper-vigilant with my mental health. If you read my blog or follow me on social media, you see protecting my peace is my life’s mission. I spent more years of my life neglecting myself, and now that I’m in love with the woman I see in the mirror, I refuse to allow others to hurt her. 

I no longer need or want others’ validation or positive words when feeling low. My number one love language used to be words of affirmation, but words are cheap. I have self-proclaimed myself Queen of the Words and give the best motivational/pep talks I know. Most of the time, I replay my own words to get through the day, and when I reflect back on all of my survivor journeys, I have an abundance of sweet words and a disappointing amount of lack of action. 

I appreciate all of the words and support, but maybe because of my history of long-distance relationships or my besties living on the other side of the country, I’m exhausted from words and want people physically here to have fun with me. I have mastered the art of putting myself back together, and I know that when things look bleak, I will survive and rediscover my joy. 

I often think of the phrase, “Treat others the way you want to be treated,” and my support system does, but rarely does someone treat me the way I want. But I have created a lifestyle of treating myself how I want and deserve to be treated. Having PCOS can be incredibly isolating, on top of the other life factors that make me feel alone. But I have found power and joy in being alone. Then, I reappear when needed or miss the social interactions, but I’m done trying to be an open book. Because the reality is minus more sweet words, I’m stuck dealing with all of my conditions by myself. I have lived more and discovered more joy, relying on myself as my source of happiness and peace, and I am fully leaning toward it. 

I’m not isolating myself, but I am taking care of myself the way I need to for this stage in my life. I’m not even putting up walls; I’m setting a boundary. I’m no longer pouring my heart out when I can only get out of the situation with empathetic words. I can do that. I want a hug and physically feel close to someone. I plan to continue loving myself properly and showing up for people when I feel like it.